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Featured Article
Networking Can Work For You! by Debra Fine (www.DebraFine.com)
 Do you dread receptions, banquets, and other business-related social events that you attend as a member rather than plan or execute as an event professional? Although you are the meetings and events expert, you may not enjoy attending association luncheons, Chamber of Commerce gatherings and other business-related social functions that present great networking opportunities. If attending another open house makes you want to run inside your own and lock the door, you are not alone. Many of us are apprehensive about these situations, because most of us either can't bear to enter rooms where we don't know anyone or detest spending time with people we don't know well. Keeping a conversation going during such occasions is an ordeal.
Everyone learns the technical skills required for their jobs, but not everyone places importance on conversational skills. The ability to talk easily with anyone is a learned skill, not a personality trait. Acquiring it will help you develop rapport with people and leave a positive impression that lasts longer than an exchange of business cards.
Ask yourself if you are a habitual abuser of these "networking bad habits"?
- In a room full of unfamiliar faces you find the one person who looks familiar and stick with that person for the duration of the event.
- At a business-related social event you make the food table or bar your permanent home.
- After being at an event for an hour you still find yourself wandering the room saying hello to many different people without ever engaging in a "real" conversation.
The one thing these "networking bad habits" have in common is that they limit your ability to meet new people and build new business contacts and friendships. Here are some techniques you can employ at your next conference, meeting or networking event to improve your skills:
Stage One: Meeting New People and Initiating New Conversations
- Always say hello and greet people warmly. Be the first to say hello to new people. Waiting to be "properly" introduced may result in no introduction at all. Remember to shake hands and always smile. Don't rush introductions. Take your time and show sincerity when meeting new people.
- Use an icebreaker. An icebreaker not only provides a way to meet new people, but also helps jumpstart conversations. For example, using an icebreaker such as "Tell me about the type of work your firm is involved in" instead of simply saying hello can lead to a fruitful conversation, rather than an uncomfortable silence. Some other valuable icebreakers you might use are:
- "Bring me up to date on your latest project."
- "What do you find to be the most enjoyable aspect of your job?"
- "Tell me about your history with ________."
- "How did you come to find yourself in the health care field?"
- "How did you come up with that idea?"
- Learn, remember, and use a person's name. When meeting a new person, make a special and conscious effort to remember his or her name. Repeat the name to yourself after hearing it and use it often during conversation. Using a person's name throughout a conversation not only helps to build a personal connection with that person, but also demonstrates your caring and attentive nature.
- Prepare, prepare, prepare. Before attending a hospitality suite, meal or business function take a couple of minutes and think of at least three conversation points or topics. These topics can be invaluable during an awkward pause or uncomfortable silence. Try to match your topics to the event and those attending. For example, discussing an innovative article on supply management may be a great topic to use at a conference, but might seem out of place at a golf outing.
Stage Two: Keeping the Conversation Going
- Show an interest in others. Great conversationalists are set apart by their ability to make any conversational partner feel like the only person in the room. Everyone likes to feel special and people, even very shy people, like to talk about themselves, so let them and show a genuine interest in what they are saying. In our fast-paced society, taking the time to show an interest in another person is a rare and valued commodity.
- Be a good listener. Maintaining eye contact is one easy way to demonstrate that you are listening. Giving verbal and non-verbal cues, for example, nodding your head, or using such phrases as, "tell me more", "that sounds frustrating" and "what happened next" also indicates that you're involved in a conversation, even when simply listening. Being a good listener also supplies you with information that you can use to keep the conversation going.
- Dig Deeper. Take your time during conversations and don't be afraid to ask follow-up questions that dig a little deeper. For example, if someone just described their company's new IT policy, by asking about the previous policy or what the company hopes to gain by implementing the new policy, you are showing your interest in the person and their work while keeping the conversation lively.
- Be appropriate. Certain topics and conversations may be suitable for one event and off limits at another. Always err on the side of caution. If you even suspect that a topic may be inappropriate chose another "safe" topic instead. Also, be wary of brining up personal relationships or family issues, you may end up regretting it.
- Don't dominate the conversation and don't let others dominate it either. Try to give everyone a chance to speak in an interaction. If someone else is stealing the show, wait for a pause or break in conversation and then change the direction of the conversation or include someone else in the conversation who hasn't been heard yet by asking "what do you think?" or "what is your opinion?"
- Respect others and their opinions. Not everyone agrees on everything. Remember that people are entitled to their opinions, and possible disagreements may even be a gateway to a fruitful conversation.
Stage Three: Exiting the Conversation
- Be prepared with exit strategies. You will want to mingle with several people at an event and knowing how to effectively leave one conversation and move on to another is all part of successful networking. The more people you can effectively network with at an event, the more opportunities you have to forge new relationships and contacts.
- Make a lasting impression. Once the time has come to leave a conversation leave with a smile and handshake. Tell the person how much you enjoyed speaking with them and establish a way to make contact in the future. After you leave the conversation you may want to make a mental note of the person's name and other pertinent or interesting information that you can use when you speak with that person in the future.
Whether you are hosting your company open house or attending a conference on the latest in meeting technology, effective networking can be your key to building positive and lasting professional relationships. Every new face is a new opportunity for successful conversation. Break yourself of your "networking bad habits" and embrace the art and possibilities of small talk. The next time you find yourself at a business-related social event, don't hide by the food table or wander the room, use your conversation skills to meet new people and build business friendships. Combine these tips with a positive attitude and a little work, and networking can work for you.
 Debra Fine is a 15+ year member of the National Speakers Association presenting her programs to hundreds of audiences around the world to clients that include General Electric, Hensel Phelps Construction, Lockheed Martin, Alaska Forum on the Environment, American Bar Association, GlaxoSmithKline Pharmaceuticals, Credit Suisse First Boston and NYU Stern Graduate School of Business. Her best selling first book "The Fine Art of Small Talk" was met with excellent reviews in the Library Journal, USA Today, and Entrepreneur Magazine and her recently released title The Fine Art of the Big Talk: How to Win Clients, Deliver Great Presentations, and Solve Conflicts at Work (Hyperion) is her second in the "Fine Art" series. Debra's recent media appearances include The Today Show, The Early Show, NPR Morning Edition, Fox Business News and CNN. View more information about Debra at www.DebraFine.com.
Published with permission from Debra Fine
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